worst show in the history of shows - so worth it.

da moon

FML

This is the dumbest thing ever.

earlier this week i was eating grapes when all of the sudden my jaw hurt and it felt like there was an air bubble under the left side of my jaw where my glands are. I felt the gland it was really swollen. the next night i asked my sister (the nurse who thinks she knows everything) what it could be and she was very excited to tell me i have blocked salivary duct (OK she got one thing right). so basically every time i eat my submandibular salivary gland fills with saliva that cannot escape because i have a stone blocking the conduit between my gland and my mouth.



it's been 4 days and it hasn't gotten better. so yesterday i go to the doctor and she basically laughs at me and tells me i have to go home and suck on lemon drops or sour patch kids to help the stone pass. I hate her now.



I have eaten like 30 sour patch kids and 20 lemon drops and nothing has happened. When i eat it swells up so i look like this.



ok, it's not that bad...but that's what it feels like. is this karma? am i that lame of a person that this super lame thing happened to me? alright, i'm going to start being a better person.

Dear Court,

Please don't give Noel Fielding whatever disease it is you have on your skin. I love him and i wouldn't want to see him sick or hurt. I love you too...you know that. My loyalty has never strayed from you, but it's really important to me that he stays alive. You, well...you're already dead.

xoxo,

Laura

holy shit!

you just got really excited, didn't you? you're at least smiling...i know it.

this bird

Today

i'm starting up again.

consistently.
i promise.

kinda.

not like you cared anyway. psh.

Isabella Rossellini is doing things and she's awesome at it.

There is a whole series of these. Look up "Green Porno" on youtube.

See more funny videos and Cute Animals Videos at Today's Big Thing.

so perfect

appreciate this.

10 things

10 things that happened that are awesome:

1) mopeding again
2) group naps
3) pool daze
4) millie and al's karaoke/ jello shots
5) jumping into water
6) pipes clogged on the jersey shore
7) hole
8) ocean beach, san diego!
9) sarah o'donahue
10) my office mates

10 things that are about to happen that are awesome:

1) road bike
2) mega group birthday
3) floating on water
4) BFD 2010/ Andrew WK
5) clif carter
6) more girls nights in/out
7) 2 years of marriage
8) the white house
9) lots of celebrating
10) machu picchu

also...alan rickman...so tight

i be-weave!

while ur at work we're partying on the beach

ur like sucks

This message has been sent using the picture and Video service from Verizon Wireless!

To learn how you can snap pictures and capture videos with your wireless phone visit www.verizonwireless.com/picture.

Note: To play video messages sent to email, Quicktime@ 6.5 or higher is required.

ben. get out of our bed